26 & 27 September 2026 (Pastoral Page) SUFFERING WELL

by Ps Lim Wei-en

No matter what precautions we take, no matter how well we have put together a good life, no matter how hard we have worked to be healthy, wealthy, comfortable with friends and family, and successful with our career — something will inevitably ruin it.

(Timothy Keller, Walking with God in Pain and Suffering)

This quote might seem terribly pessimistic, especially in a culture like ours that prides itself on planning against economic, geopolitical and physical hardships. And yet, to be human is to suffer. At some point in life, try as we might to avoid it, some form of pain will come to us. Thus, the question we as Christians (and humans) should ask ourselves is not “will I suffer?” or “why am I suffering?”, but “how do I suffer well?”

Here are five ways I have learnt, and am still learning, to suffer well as a Christian.

1.    Practise gratitude while being honest about your suffering. Many Christians make the mistake of living either a defeated life (life is always a struggle with sin and brokenness) or an over-triumphant life (life is always good and any badness can be prayed away by faith). While the former falls into the trap of resignation, the latter falls into the trap of denial. The truth is – we live in an “already but not yet” reality. On the one hand, because we are already victorious over sin and death in Christ, we can practise thanksgiving regardless of our circumstances (cf. 1 Thess. 5:18). At the same time, because Christ’s victory has not yet been fully realised in his coming again, we can be honest about the sufferings we face in a still-broken world. Gratitude can and should co-exist with a healthy acknowledgement of suffering in the Christian life.

2.    Suffer with others. Everyone who suffers does so at two levels at least. One, the actual suffering being faced (e.g. the illness, loss, false accusation etc.). Two, the loneliness that comes from going through something others are not. The second kind of suffering, if it persists, is often more painful than the first. This is why Scripture is full of instructions to suffer with the suffering (Rom. 12:15, 1 Cor. 12:26, Gal. 6:2, Heb. 13:3) And who better to suffer with others than someone who is familiar with suffering? One of the functional purposes of suffering is that it builds empathy – we know how others who are suffering feel because we have suffered. May we therefore not “waste our suffering” but walk alongside others who are also suffering.

3.    Let others into your suffering. The flipside to the above is that we who suffer must be open for others to suffer with us. This is not easy especially if we have learnt to associate suffering with shame (“there is something wrong with me”), guilt (“I am suffering because of my sin”) or weakness ("I am suffering because I am not strong enough”). However, given that suffering is a part of human life and there is nothing inherently shameful or sinful about it, then to suffer well means letting others into our suffering. Just as parts of a physical body take turns supporting an injured part of the body until that part heals, so the body of Christ is called to do likewise. By not letting another into our suffering, not only do we continue to suffer in silence, that brother or sister may be denied an opportunity to use their God-given gifts to build us up. Thus, let us grow in being vulnerable to others, and let them carry our burdens with us in times of suffering.

4.    Suffer with God, not against God. In the book of Job, Job, in his great suffering, cries out to and against God, even at times appearing to levy accusations against God. And yet, at the end of the book, God commends Job for speaking the truth about him. (Job 42:7) Job was accepted because he chose to struggle with God and not apart from God. His earnest laments were not a threat to God but welcomed by a God whose heart is big enough to take our prayerful tears and complaints. Suffering well as a Christian sometimes requires us to learn how to wrestle with the sovereign God, not walk away from him.

5.    Get to know the Suffering Servant better. When God chose to reveal himself to us as a human, he took the form of a suffering servant, someone familiar with sorrow. (c.f. Isa. 53:3) He did this so that he could empathise with our weaknesses and represent us to God as our Great High Priest. (Heb. 4:15) Having loved us to the point of suffering unto death for us, he now invites us to know him better by participating in his sufferings. (Phil. 3:10) Sometimes, it is only through our sufferings that we can better know and be more united with Jesus. Paralysed from her shoulders down since 17, Christian author Joni Eareckson Tada writes, “"When we suffer, we share a fellowship with Jesus that healthy, prosperous people can rarely understand. It’s a fellowship of shared pain, which leads to an intimacy with Him that is sweeter than any earthly joy." (When God Weeps: Why Our Sufferings Matter to the Almighty). Let us therefore suffer well by getting to know Jesus better in his sufferings.

Father, thank You that through Jesus, You understand our suffering. In the valleys of our lives, therefore, give us the grace to know Jesus more intimately than before. Strip away everything that is not of You – our self-reliance, pride, idols of comfort and false success – and conform us to the image of Your Son, which we are destined for. And, in Your time, bring us out of these valleys with a renewed vigour for life of holiness and love. May Your strength be made perfect in our weaknesses, and the way we suffer in such a way that our lives continue to bear witness to you. Lord, teach us to suffer well for your glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.