4 & 5 Oct 2025 (Pastoral Page) DISCIPLESHIP @ HOME

by Snr Ps Beh Soo Yeong

We just celebrated Children’s Day on 3 Oct this year. Well, some of us did, but most of us have forgotten about Children’s Day since the time our children were still kids. Nonetheless, I think it is timely for me to share about the mandate of Christian parenting in the church, not just of young kids, but for all children.

I have been using a devotional guide written by the late Tim Keller, based on the book of Proverbs, The Way of Wisdom, and for the past few days he wrote about Christian parenting. What are the primary roles for us as Christian parents, regardless of their ages? A few things struck me:

1.  Disciple our children. Children have been given to parents as gifts from the Lord. Rather than making them happy, we are to help them be holy – to be set apart for the Lord’s purpose. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, they will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22.6, ESV). While this is not a failsafe promise, it is a wise saying that bears much truth in real life. Parents are to impart the ways of the Lord to our children so that they will differentiate right from wrong, good from evil. How much time do you devote in training your child in the way he should go as compared to helping him in his school grades? Are we more concern about their moral well-being or their academic achievements? Notice it is not nagging the child, nor scold her, but train her. And of course, we should be reminded that we can only train them when we are trained ourselves as disciples of Jesus.

2.  Discipline our children. As we disciple our children, it is inevitable that we need to discipline them when they err. Hebrews 12.4-11 cites Proverbs 3.11-12 to remind us not to spurn the discipline of the Lord because he does so as our heavenly Father, to train us in righteousness and godliness. Likewise, as earthly fathers and mothers, it is our role and duty to discipline our children appropriately to train them in righteousness. Of course, our methods must correspond to their life stages and development, but we serve them no good if we neglect the discipline of our children - kids, teenagers and yes, even young adults! If we fail to do so, or do so well, Tim Keller calls it “parental malpractice”!

3.  Delight in our children. While we are to disciple and discipline our children, it is imperative that we to do so with delight, not in the task per se, but in our children. After all, they are made in the image of God, and they are fearfully and wonderfully made (Genesis 1.27; Psalms 139.14). As we train them, let them know that we love them as they are. Delight in them, find joy in them and being with them, and tell them so! When was the last time you have told or shown your son or daughter that you love them, enjoy them and you are proud of them? I know that this is sometimes very hard to do, when you see all the “warts and all,” but loving our children should always be based on their personhood rather than their performance. I trust that when we have affirmed them sufficiently, our delight in them will bring a reciprocal delight for them in their training and discipling… well, at least when they are nature enough to realise that!

Space does not allow us to discuss the parenting approaches and methods in detail. But suffice it to say that it is imperative that Christian parents in our midst learn and even train to parent their children well. No one is born with the natural instincts and ability to parent well. The way we were parented may not be suitable any more in our present context. We all go through a process of learning, unlearning and relearning to be good and godly parents. Therefore, I want to appeal to parents to attend the various parenting training courses so as to learn to parent well, together. As a church, we hope to raise a community of godly and wise parents to support one another, because it takes a village to bring up a child! No time? Make time, because few things are as critical and impactful as good and godly (or bad and ungodly) parenting! May the Lord continue to raise generations of godly and effective parents and godly children in our midst.

2026 Discipleship @ Home Training Courses

The Parenting Teenagers Course - 18, 25 April, 2, 9, 16, 23 May 2026 (6 Saturdays). Sign up link: https://forms.gle/ykDgoc1MHsWPMpXQ8

The Parenting Children Course - 4, 11, 18, 25 July, 1, 8 August 2026 (6 Saturdays). Sign up link: https://forms.gle/a7dC24qfYqRKVkq6A